Lordi styled MSN
by Blazenaire Alda
Summary: Basically all the members of Lordi chat on MSN but it's not an average chat!
1. Chapter 1

All the members are talking to each other from different parts of the world on MSN.

Mr. Lordi goes on

Mr. Lordi: Hello from England! Anyone online?

**Amen joins him**

Amen: Hey, how's it going? Greetings from Oz!

Mr. Lordi: Great but London rain sucks!

Amen: Too bad, I've got summer weather here! Mummy attack, Australian style! lol

Mr. Lordi: lol, if weather doesn't clear up a little, I can't go sightseeing

Amen: Too bad, Oprah House was kinda cool. You should see Big Ben

Mr. Lordi: I will

**Kita comes online**

Kita: Hey guys!

Mr. Lordi: How's Japan?

Amen: Hey, I was gonna ask that!

Mr. Lordi: lol

Kita: lol, Japan's awesome! Sushi for breakfast! And lunch! And probably for dinner too

Amen: lol, too much sushi for my liking!

Mr. Lordi: Steak for me!

Amen: Me too!

Kita: How's your change of scenery?

Mr. Lordi: I now hate rain more than I did ten years ago!

Amen: Awesome summer weather!

Kita: A bit cold here, might watch Sumo wrestling tomorrow!

Amen: Cool!

**OX bursts in**

OX: Good to see you guys are having a good time!

Mr. Lordi: Except me! Raining too much! I prefer snow

Kita: lol

Amen: lol

OX: Haven't you ever heard of a little thing called an umbrella before?

Amen: **snigger**

Kita: ha ha

Mr. Lordi: ...

Mr. Lordi: Yes I have!

Kita: Then why don't you find one and use it!

Amen: LMAO!

OX: In Fiji, you get about ten of them a day!

Amen: Why?

OX: In little drinks

Kita: lol, send some to Mr. Lordi

OX: Nah, I need them

Mr. Lordi: Why?

OX: 'cause um…

Amen: Um what?

OX: I don't know!

Kita: Is it 'cause you don't want to give them to him?

OX: I'm starting a collection!

Mr. Lordi: Really? **rolls eyes**

Mr. Lordi: How are you gonna take them on the plane so they don't get crushed?

OX: JUST SHUT UP!

Amen: lol, hellbull just got owned!

Kita: lol, yeah!

Amen: Sorry! G2G now! Talk later!

**Amen goes offline**

OX: G2G?

Kita: Got to go!

OX: Oh…

Mr. Lordi: Rain just stopped!

Kita: Japan, no rain just snow!

OX: Fiji is just sand and surf!

Kita: Like California! Lol

OX: lol

Kita: Um… Mr. Lordi!

OX: Where is he?

Kita: Probably dancing or something! Lol

OX: lol

Mr. Lordi: Hey, I wasn't dancing! Just looking at London without rain for the first time!

OX: Sure you were!

Mr. Lordi: **groan**

Kita: lol

**Awa is online**

Awa: Hey guys!

OX: How's is going?

Awa: Good, There's this cat that keeps following me! It's fluffy!

Kita: lol

Awa: Well, it is fluffy. Only a kitten

OX: What is with you and cats?

Awa: I'm a cat person! They don't need constant energy to be interesting like a dog!

Kita: Or hellbull!  
Awa: lol, Where are the other two?

Kita: Amen left a while ago and Mr. Lordi is…

OX: Dancing 'cause it's not raining in London!  
Awa: lol

Kita: lol

Mr. Lordi: Hey! I said I wasn't dancing!

Kita: Whatever! **Snigger**

OX: Sorry, got to go now!

Awa: Talk soon!  
Kita: Bye!

Mr. Lordi: So… How is the USA?

Awa: It's nice, New York is quite big though! I nearly got lost!

Kita: News headline! Monster lost in New York City!

Mr. Lordi: lol

Awa: Maybe not THAT dramatic! Lol

Kita: You never know!

Mr. Lordi: It could happen!

**Nothing happens for several minutes**

Awa: Ok?

Kita: What?

Awa: I have just got a message asking if I want to go to a GWAR concert

Mr. Lordi: Ok? Now that's a bit weird!

Kita: Who from?

Awa: I don't actually know

Kita: Oh, you could scare them!

Awa: lol, maybe not

**Ten minutes passes**

Awa: Hello?

Kita: BOO!

Awa: lol, trying to scare me?

Kita: Yeah!

Mr. Lordi: sorry! Just had to answer a phone call

Awa: Ok

Mr. Lordi: You said that someone invited you to a concert?

Awa: Yeah, but I'm not going!

**Someone called Scary Alien Guy joins**

Scary Alien Guy: Why not?

Kita: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!

Scary Alien Guy: **evil laugh** I am the leader singer of GWAR!

Scary Alien Guy: BE AFRAID!

Awa: Random much!

Kita: lol

Scary Alien Guy: YOU DARE TO LAUGH AT THE RULER OF EARTH!

Kita: Yeah I do! Lol

Scary Alien Guy: YOU!

Kita: I know I laughed at you and I'll do it again! lol

Awa: lmao

Mr. Lordi: Um… Why are you talking to us?

Scary Alien Guy: Because I will take over ALL this planet and DESTROY YOU!

Kita: Um… whatever!

Mr. Lordi: Too late! I already have!

Awa: lol

Mr. Lordi: It's true!

Kita: With my help!

Awa: And mine too!

**Amen and OX conveniently appear online**

Amen: And the Unstoppable Mummy!

OX: And the all-powerful hellbull!

Mr. Lordi Mwah ha ha ha!

Scary Alien Guy: You earth beings cannot defeat AN ALIEN!

Kita: ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING!

Scary Alien Guy: No I'm not!

OX: Then you would know two things! I'm from Hell!

Kita: And I'm an alien!

Scary Alien Guy: Then you did you join Lordi?

Kita: Because I have some kind of brain!

Awa: lol

Scary Alien Guy: You won't be laughing for long witch!

Amen: And why won't she?

Scary Alien Guy: Because at this moment my drummer is kidnapping her! **Evil laugh**

Awa: HELLPPP!

Mr. Lordi: Awa!

**Not-so-scary Alien Guy joins too and Awa is offline**

Not-so-scary Alien Guy: Haha! We have your wife!

Amen: HIS WHAT!

Scary Alien Guy: Our plan is working!

Kita: I WILL GET YOU!

OX: SO WILL I!  
Amen: FEEL THE FURY OF THE MUMMY!

Scary Alien Guy: Your witch will be transformed tonight!

Mr. Lordi: INTO WHAT!

Scary Alien Guy: My new wife!

Kita: NOOOO!

OX: WE WON'T LET YOU!

**OX and Kita go offline**

Amen: I'll save you Awa!

**Amen appears offline**

Not-so-scary Alien Guy: Oh no you won't!

**Not-so-scary Alien Guy appears offline**

Mr. Lordi: LMAO! Thanks Dee!

Scary Alien Guy: No worries! Great prank! Mr. Lordi and Dee Snider strike again!

Mr. Lordi: lol!

**Scary Alien Guy is offline**

Mr. Lordi: Hello?

**Five minutes later**

Mr. Lordi: AHHH!

**Mr. Lordi is offline**


	2. Chapter 2

**Mr. Lordi and Kita are in Sydney on a holiday**

Mr. Lordi: Hey, anyone online?

Kita: Yeah!

Mr. Lordi: Wait! You are in the same hotel as me!

Kita: And?

Mr. Lordi: Then why don't you just come here and talk?

**Awa is online**

Awa: Good morning!

Kita: It's five pm here

Awa: Oh sorry, good evening! Lol

Mr. Lordi: lol

Kita: lol, don't worry!

Mr. Lordi: Australia is certainly different to Finland!

Awa: Is it snowing there?

Kita: No it isn't!

Mr. Lordi: Hey! Just because we are in the same place doesn't mean you get to answer all the questions!

Kita: I rule!

Awa: lol

**Mr. Lordi is offline**

Awa: Oh, he's gone!

Kita: Don't worry! Probably to kill me! Lol

Awa: lol

Awa: So, have you done anything interesting?

Kita: Well, I've scared an old man but the old lady next to him started whacking me with her handbag!

Awa: lol, too bad!

Kita: Ok, my door just opened!  
Awa: Are you ok?

*five minutes later*

Awa: Kita?

Kita: HEELLPPPPP!

Awa: WHAT!

Kita: he is

Awa: he is what?

Kita: This is Mr. Lordi!

Awa: ok?

Awa: Or is that you Kita?

Kita: No, I just accidently knocked him unconscious...

Awa: WHAT!

Kita: So yeah

Kita: Oh wait! He's moving!

Awa: Should I come over there and knock your demon behind unconscious?

Kita: No!

Kita: nubnsdghjbiu

Kita: mjsnfkugyawsfdsgfrdyh

Awa: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?

Kita: JJBSGHDBYW

Awa: Whatever...

*ten minutes later*

Kita: FINALLY!

Awa: Finally! Understandable writing!

Kita: lol, Mr. Lordi was trying to...

Awa: Trying to what?

Kita: ...

Kita prevent me from accessing my laptop!

Kita: lol

Awa: lol, where is he now?

Kita: gone to get a drink

Awa: ok

*Mr. Lordi is offline*

Kita: He must have turned off his laptop!  
Awa: Well probably since he isn't online!

Kita: OWW!

Awa: *sigh* What did you do now?

Kita: Just noticed the monster-sized lump on the back of my head!

Kita: And the bruise on my arm

Kita: and leg

Kita: AND shoulder!

Awa: What are we going to do with you...

Kita: It's not that I'm clumsy, I'm accident-prone!

Awa: Whatever you say *rolls eyes*

Kita: Oh, he's back!

Awa: Tell him I'm gonna get him!

Kita: Ok

*five minutes later*

Kita: Ok, but he says please don't damage any... soft spots!

Awa: lol

Kita: lol

Awa: Anything planned?

Kita: An interview on some news show hosted by comedians

Awa: Ok, I haven't heard of that

Kita: Apparently it's quite popular here. Comes on at about seven pm

Awa: Ok, do you know the name?

Kita: nope!

Awa: Alright, just try not to get bashed up by a granny!

Kita: lol, I'll try

Awa:

Kita: Well see ya!

Awa: Ok, bye

*The next morning (Australian time)*

OX: Ok, I NEED FOOD!

*Kita is online*

Kita: Hey, how are you?

OX: Ok, but SO hungry!  
Kita: Ok but why?

OX: I didn't eat yesterday!  
OX: Or today!

Kita: Why? I thought you were the smart one!

OX: True as that may be, I was so busy!

Kita: I will never understand you!

OX: Yeah ok

Kita: The interview last night went ok but the host kept hitting on me!

OX: Ok, now THAT chick needs to get a taste in guys!

Kita: So you're saying I'm ugly!

OX: Well, kinda! Lol

Kita: At least I don't grunt everything I say!

OX: NOW THAT IS TOO FAR!

Kita: Go eat a chair!

OX: ...

*Amen is online*

Amen: So a chick likes you! Now that's something you don't hear every day!

OX: lol, I know!

Kita: ...

OX: Or Kita not hitting on her as well!

Amen: lol, or him not begging her to...

Kita: STOP! OR YOU WILL DIE!  
Amen: hold on! We were just having a laugh!

OX: Or were we...

Amen: lol

Kita: Amen shut up and OX...

Kita: SHUT UP!

Amen: haha

OX: Amen! Do as Kita says!

Amen: no! I'm an ancient king!

Amen: I can do as I wish!

OX: ...

Kita: lol

*Awa is online*

Awa: Helloo!

Amen: Hey, we better shut up now!

Awa: Why?

Awa: Oh THAT'S why!

Amen: ...

Kita: Mr. Lordi nearly fell off his chair on national tv...

OX: *snigger*

Kita: If only he was actually talking

Awa: I need to find that interview!

Amen: Yeah!

OX: Me too!

Kita: ok?

*Awa, Amen and OX are offline*

Kita: Yeah whatever!

*Kita is offline*


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. Lordi: Hey

***Kita is online***

Kita: Hey, how are you?

Mr. Lordi: Ok, had the weirdest dream!

Kita: go on

Mr. Lordi: I was at the Dark Cloud

Kita: That pub near the Rocktaurant?

Mr. Lordi: yeah

Mr. Lordi: everyone was speaking Norwegian

Kita: ok? A little strange

Mr. Lordi: There was this teenage pop singer, Justin Beaver or something

Kita: Bieber?

Mr. Lordi: Something like that anyway…

Mr. Lordi: Well, he was speaking Japanese and playing darts with that crazy guy there

Kita: WHAT!

Mr. Lordi: Also there wasn't a door

Kita: So you're saying that you had to climb up a brick wall to the third window up and climb in?

Mr. Lordi: Weird I know

Kita: *face palm*

Mr. Lordi: lol

Mr. Lordi: Wonder if anyone could top that?

Kita: now THAT would be extremely hard to achieve!

***Awa is online***

Awa: I believe I could 'top' that!

Mr. Lordi: Really?

Awa: It's actually more scary though

Mr. Lordi: Go on…

Awa: I dreamed that…

Mr. Lordi: YES!

Awa: I kissed you!

Kita: Now THAT would be a nightmare itself!

Kita: lol

Awa: lmao!

***Amen is online***

Amen: Yeah it would be!

Mr. Lordi: …

Kita: *snigger*

Awa: Well I wouldn't exactly want to!

Amen: REJECTED!

Kita: lol

Mr. Lordi: Well I didn't ask for that…

Amen: but still…

Amen: REJECTED!

Awa: lol

Kita: hahaha

Awa: I also dreamed of something worse

Amen: if that's possible!

Kita: lol

Awa: well, it was

Mr. Lordi: so…

Mr. Lordi: what was it?

Awa: that I was sleeping and Amen started kissing me while he was drunk

Amen: !

Kita: lmao!

Amen: WHAT!

Kita: I'm the safe one!

Kita: lol

Amen: …

Mr. Lordi: now who's the rejected one?

Amen: …

Kita: *snigger*

Kita: hahaha!

Kita: the mummy can't even kiss a woman when she's awake!

Amen: …

Amen: you're sooo gonna die alien!

Kita: sure… *rolls eyes*

Mr. Lordi: lol

Awa: lol

Awa: Um… Kita?

Kita: yeah

Awa: the was one about you too

Kita: WHAT?

Amen: lol

Amen: what did HE do?

Mr. Lordi: lol

Awa: well…

Amen: yeah?

Awa: umm…

Mr. Lordi: what was it?

***OX is online***

OX: OX is here!

Awa: lol

OX: what?

Awa: don't worry!

Amen: so…

Mr. Lordi: tell us already!

Kita: oh great!

Awa: Kita and I

Amen: Kita and you WHAT!

Awa: got married!

Kita: *speechless*****

Amen: lmaoooo!

Mr. Lordi: haha!

OX: WHAT!

Awa: A dream that I had!

OX: oh… ok

Kita: so that is everyone except

OX: who?

Kita: YOU!  
OX: oh great

OX: *face palm*

Awa: Well, there wasn't one!

Amen: Seriously?

Mr. Lordi: So we went through ALL THAT

Kita: And the hellbull gets off scot-free?

Awa: Yep!

Amen: You lucky bastard of a hellbull!

OX: I guess I'm just lucky!

Kita: Horseshoe!

Mr. Lordi: Um… horseshoe?

Amen: Oh yeah!

Amen: Horseshoe!

Awa: lol

OX: ?

Mr. Lordi: ?

Amen: hahaha!

OX: ?

Mr. Lordi: ?

Amen: hahaha! :)

*This repeats for about twenty minutes*

Awa: OK! I'm officially sick of THIS!

*Awa is offline*

OX: I don't get it!

Mr. Lordi: That makes two of us!

Kita: Hmm… Horse!

Amen: Luck

OX: ?

Mr. Lordi! OHHHH!

Mr. Lordi: lol

Amen: Finally!

Kita: Wait, better one!

Kita: COW!

OX: Hellbull.

Kita: COW!

OX: Grrr! Hellbull!

Kita: COW, COW, COW!

OX: …

Amen: MOOOOO!

OX: THAT'S IT!

OX: Mummy's boy!

Kita: HA!

Mr. Lordi: Moooooooooo!

Amen: Go back to the farm!

OX: Make me! :P

OX: Mummy's boy!

Kita: MOOOOOO!

OX: Oh shut up already!

Mr. Lordi: Hmmm…

Kita: Can I have a glass of milk?

OX: SHUT UP ALREADY!

Amen: Me too please!

OX: Ask your mummy!

Kita: ha! I AM INVICIBLE!

Mr. Lordi: No, you're not!

Kita: Awwwww…

Amen: ha. ha. ha.

OX: And for the third time... HELLBULL!

Kita: Moo

Mr. Lordi: Oh be nice to the cow, Kitty!

Kita: KITTY!

OX: hahaha! Good one Lordi!

Amen: Hehehe, can I ask for a glass of milk from the Hello Kitty cup?

Kita and OX: …

Mr. Lordi: lmao!

Kita: Oh, go kiss Bugs Bunny!

Amen: Looney Tunes!

Kita: And Mr. Lordi!

OX: LOONEY LORDI! :D

Amen: OWNED!

Mr. Lordi: I never said I liked Looney Tunes…

Kita: yeah you did!  
Mr. Lordi: I said I liked owls!

Amen: WINNIE THE POOH!

OX: LOONEY LOONEY LORDI!

Mr. Lordi: Can I ask the cow a question?

OX: yes?

Mr. Lordi: HA HA! You replied, therefore YOU ARE A COW!

OX: Oh freaking great!

Amen: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THAT WINNIE THE POOH THING!

Kita: oh… lol!

Kita: Looney Lordi and Owl sitting in a tree...

Amen: K-I-S-S-I-N-

Mr. Lordi: Gee, wouldn't it be bad if you hmmm… somehow lost a leg?

OX: G!

Kita: It's already been said!

OX: Really?

Kita: Yeah cow, by Looney Lordi!

OX: *sniggers*

OX: True that!

Mr. Lordi: Where's Awa when you need her?

Kita: I heard she went to a psychologist!

OX: Really?

Amen: We could've just told her she was crazy and she'd have an extra sixty Euro in her pocket!

OX: True that!

Kita: It's starting to get annoying. YOU KEEP SAYING THAT!

OX: True that!

Amen: lol

Mr. Lordi: She's not crazy!

Kita: Not compared to you

Amen: Looney Lordi!

Mr. Lordi: I have officially given up on you three as of now!

*Mr. Lordi is offline*

Amen: Hmm… still like that glass of milk right about now

Kita: Me too!

OX: I. AM. NOT. A. COW.

OX: Let me spell it out for you

OX: H.E.L.L.B.U.L.L

OX: Understood?

Kita: Maybe… *shifty eyes*

Amen: H- Hot

Amen: E- European

Amen: L- Lolly

Amen: L- Loving

Amen: B- Bitch

Amen: U- Uncle

Amen: L- Lacking

Amen: L- Love

Kita: Makes no sense what-so-ever…

Kita: But hahaha! :D

OX: I swear the next time I see you...

Amen: You're what? Gonna lick my hot European bitch's lolly loving uncle who doesn't have anyone to love?

Kita: NOW I get it! Lol

OX: …whatever…

*OX is offline*

Kita: Awww…the cow is gone!

Amen: At least Kitty isn't!

Kita: And Mummy's Boy!

Amen: G2G, my dog's uncle is calling me!

Kita: Meow (Bye!)

*Amen and Kita are offline*


End file.
